This past Sunday I shared some practical ways you can

  2. Look in the Mirror

You’ve all heard the verse: don’t pull the speck out of your friends eye while you’ve got a log in your own eye. You may be thinking that your roommate needs to change, but it very well may be you that needs to attitude adjustment. Ask yourself some questions:Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?

o      Did the Bible live in me today?

o      Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?

o      Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?

  • I think once we ask ourselves these questions while looking in the mirror, we’ll see how much grace Jesus has poured out upon us and we’ll become much more grace-filled in our thoughts, attitudes, and actions towards others.
  • You and I are to love when someone least deserves it and least expects it. May that be what we’re known for. This is why it is SO FREAKING important for you to be in a small group – especially you guys. If you want to model what it means to be in a healthy relationship, then you need to have healthy relationships. So, who do you hang around? Jesus didn’t even do life alone, yet so many of you try. You’re a fool if you think you can do life alone.
  • But if you’re wanting your friend to change, you’ve got to understand that you’ve got to be backing it up with how you live your life. Spend time in Scripture… let Scripture speak to you. End of story.
  • Ephesians 4:26-27 are HUGE here. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Here’s what happens (at least for me) – someone will say something and I didn’t understand what they were saying… I won’t resolve it, and so I’ll go home re-playing the conversation, but this time I’ll have some sarcastic rebuttle and then we’ll argue/arm wrestle (of which I’ll win every time)… and before I know it, I’ve stored up bitterness towards that person. Go talk to them. Forgiveness frees – Bitterness binds. It’s a FACT.
  • DON’T use email or text message or facebook or twitter to reconcile. That’s for pansies. These different forms of communication are very powerful when it comes to communicating information… but should be TOTALLY AVOIDED when trying to resolve conflict. Take 1 communication class and they’ll tell you that 80-90% of all communication is non-verbal…With that being the case–e-mail would eliminate one of the most important aspects of communication, thereby leaving room for LOTS of misunderstanding.
  • I’ve gotten SO ANGRY at people over an email before, thinking they meant one thing when, in actuality, they meant something totally different.  AND…when I finally had the guts to have a face to face conversation and bring up their “hurtful” comments in the email…they have looked at me like I was on crack and said, “Man, I am sorry you thought that…but that is not at all what I meant.”
  • When people’s feelings are involved it is SO WORTH THE TIME to either break off a phone call…or walk down the hall to have a conversation. I mean, think about it – you look like a fool if you leave a scolding note at the foot of the bed or on the fridge. Fool man.
  • Once more…when emailing people can’t see or hear your heart or your tone…it is SO WORTH the time to talk face to face!
  • This is last resort stuff… but there may come a point in a relationship but that is AFTER the above 4 have been exhausted and after you’ve forgiven them 490 times.
  2. Model Healthy Relationships
  2. Reconcile Now not Later
  2. Pray for your Friend
  4. Move Forward